Bros Before Hoes: The Ultimate Guy Code For Loyalty In Friendships (Explained)

Bros before hoes is a classic, often controversial phrase that you’ll hear whenever guy code or loyalty in male friendships gets real. But what does “bros before hoes” truly mean — and is sticking to this unwritten rule still relevant in the age of modern dating? Read on for the ultimate guide to the bros before hoes meaning, how to balance relationships and friendships, the roots and controversy of the term, and what today’s guys need to know to avoid regret, hurt feelings, and bad decisions.

What Does Bros Before Hoes Really Mean in Friendships?

At its core, bros before hoes is an unwritten code among men emphasizing loyalty to your male friends (the “bros”) over romantic pursuits (“hoes”, a slang — often derogatory — for women). In practice, the phrase means you don’t ditch your lifelong buddies just because you started seeing a girl, got a date, or have a new romantic fling.

Main message: Your crew comes first.
Real-world example: If you’ve got plans with the boys, but your new date calls last minute, the code says you honor your original commitment.
Guy code loyalty: It’s about respecting those who’ve always had your back, not bailing on them when attraction or lust comes calling.

The phrase has deep roots in pop culture, featured in sitcoms like The Big Bang Theory and urban slang since the early 2000s. It’s a way of saying: friendships are the foundation, romance is extra.

Origin and Rise of Bros Before Hoes in Pop Culture

No single event or celebrity “invented” bros before hoes, but it exploded in the 2000s thanks to TV, movies, and internet forums. “Bros” refers to close male friends, while “hoes” is a controversial, much-criticized slang for women. The phrase is often used humorously, but has serious undertones about loyalty and priorities.

First emerged in English slang — “bros” as slang for male friends, “hoes” reflecting the dating world.
Popped up in TV shows like The Big Bang Theory (notably when Sheldon explains the rule in the 2010 episode, “The Spaghetti Catalyst”).
Spread via Urban Dictionary, guy forums, and memes as part of the “guy code.”
Heavily discussed for its meaning, relevance, and how it stacks up against healthy relationship building.

To dig deeper, check Girls Chase analysis of why many guys fail to honor this code in practice.

Why Do Guys Say “Bros Before Hoes”? (The Emotional Angle)

For guys, friendship loyalty isn’t just lip service. There’s a real sense of betrayal and loss when someone ditches the group for a romantic partner — especially if it happens regularly.

Shock factor: Seeing a friend ignore the guys for a girl can feel like a gut punch, leading to tension or even the end of friendships.
Ironclad support: Real friends stick around when relationships come and go; the code is about keeping your support system solid.
Reputation: Guys who consistently violate this code can get branded as “whipped” or “unreliable.”

That’s why many see “bros before hoes” as crucial for avoiding regret — prioritizing friends who stick by you for years over romantic situations that may only last months.

Bros Before Hoes vs. Modern Dating Advice

It’s 2024, and the classic guy code doesn’t always fly. Bros before hoes is now seen by many as outdated, sexist language — and is often used ironically or in jest. Modern dating advice stresses balance, respect, and maturity instead of inflexible rules.

If your relationship is serious, it’s natural (and mature) to invest more time — but don’t ghost your friends completely.
If your friendships aren’t healthy or supportive, prioritizing them blindly over a healthy romance is a mistake.
The best approach is a balanced lifestyle with space for both friends and romantic partners.

If you’re seeking practical dating strategies, read our guide: How to Ask a Girl Out Without Getting Rejected.

Today, real emotional intelligence means evolving your thinking — understanding when friendship loyalty matters, and when personal growth or romance deserves focus.

When Should You (And Shouldn’t You) Use Bros Before Hoes?

Given its controversial language, most guys now use this phrase with caution — among trusted friends or in a context where everyone gets the joke. Here’s when it applies (and when to shift thinking):

When To Use	When Not To Use
When honoring long-standing plans with friends	When it’s used to disrespect or demean women
When a friend needs serious support	If your relationship is serious and needs your attention
To call out repeat flakiness for shallow romantic flings	If your friends are “holding you back” or enabling unhealthy habits

Use it wisely and in good spirit — and avoid dropping it in mixed company or professional settings.

Common Scenarios: How To Balance Bros Before Hoes Guy Code Loyalty

Scheduling conflict: If you made plans with friends before a girl asks you out, stick with your friends. Reschedule the date if possible.
Neglecting friendships: Don’t let months go by without checking in or showing up for your bros — long-term friendships take effort.
Relationship red flags: If a new partner expects you to cut off all friends, that’s a sign of potentially toxic behavior. The guy code helps you spot what’s healthy vs. controlling.
Mature conversations: If you’re spending more time with a girlfriend or partner, communicate with your friends about your priorities. True friends respect change, but appreciate honesty.

Want to up your relationship IQ? Don’t miss: 5 Expert Tips for Building a Healthy, Lasting Relationship.

Controversies and Criticisms: Is “Bros Before Hoes” Sexist?

Let’s be real — calling women “hoes” is obviously offensive and outdated. That’s why many now use the phrase ironically or as a joke. In modern circles, the focus is shifting from “men over women” to loyalty and balanced priorities.

Mature guys avoid the word “hoes” and talk instead about supporting friends without degrading partners.
Healthy friendships and relationships both deserve respect — there’s no need to choose one over the other 100% of the time.
For an honest, critical take, check Urban Dictionary’s real examples and how pop culture plays with the term.

Key Takeaways: Bros Before Hoes Guy Code Loyalty

“Bros before hoes” means prioritizing friendship loyalty over fleeting romantic encounters.
The phrase is dated and controversial — use with care and self-awareness.
Modern male friendships and relationships thrive on balance, respect, and communication, not outdated slang.
Stay loyal to real friends who support your growth, but don’t let “guy code” hold you back from genuine love or healthy change.
Read more: How to Move On from a Breakup.

FAQs: Bros Before Hoes Meaning & Guy Code Questions

What does “bros before hoes” actually mean?

It’s an informal rule of male friendship loyalty: you don’t drop or betray your friends for a romantic partner, especially for casual hookups.

Why is the phrase controversial?

Because “hoes” is a disrespectful, sexist term for women. The phrase is now used mostly among close friends or as a joke, not in serious conversation.

Is it wrong to put your girlfriend/boyfriend before your friends?

No — balance is key. Healthy relationships and strong friendships can coexist. Problems only arise when one side is completely neglected.

Is “bros before hoes” still relevant today?

It remains as a cultural joke and reminder to not abandon loyal friends. But most mature guys now focus on maintaining both close friendships and relationships.

Can women use a version of “bros before hoes”?

Yes! Women have their own versions like “chicks before dicks” — all emphasizing friendship loyalty over shallow romance.

Conclusion: Should You Live By Bros Before Hoes?

At the end of the day, “bros before hoes” is a snapshot of old-school guy loyalty with both positive and negative baggage. The message — don’t ditch loyal friends for romance — is sound, but it’s time to drop the offensive slang and adopt a more balanced, respectful approach. Real strength is in supporting healthy friendships and relationships, knowing when to prioritize, and keeping open, honest communication.

For more on relationships and self-improvement, explore:
32 Signs She’s More Than Just A Friend |
Love vs. Being In Love: Psychology

Bottom line: Embrace loyalty, balance your priorities, and grow beyond outdated codes — that’s the true “guy code” for 2024 and beyond.

Cited Resources: Girls Chase Analysis | Top Street Definitions | Wiktionary: Origin & Usage