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Breaking up is no walk in the park—it’s more like quitting a feel-good habit cold turkey. No surprise: just when you think you’re fine, the urge to call your ex creeps in like a late-night snack craving. Your phone becomes a hot potato, and every ounce of willpower is put to the test.

So before you hit “call” and say hi (or, let’s be honest, spill your feelings at 1 a.m.), read these proven strategies to help you break the cycle and get your power back.

Why You Want to Call Your Ex (Even When You Know You Shouldn’t)

Fresh off a breakup, most of us wander through the five stages of grief:

• Denial

• Anger

• Bargaining

• Depression

• …eventually, acceptance

Picking up the phone to call your ex is a risky combo of those first four:

• Denial: Refusing to believe it’s truly over.

• Anger: Wanting to take control (maybe lash out, maybe plead).

• Bargaining: “Maybe just one last call will fix things…”

• Depression: Loneliness makes that familiar voice sound extra tempting.

But the truth? Calling rarely brings the closure you’re hoping for. Your ex is on their own path now, and hearing from you could stir up pain or awkwardness on both sides.

Why You Shouldn’t Dial That Number

Before you press “send,” ask yourself:

• Who broke up with whom?

• Why did it end?

• How long ago was it?

• Are either of you seeing someone new?

Breakups generally mean someone’s decided the relationship wasn’t working. You might hope for a big romantic reunion, but a “just because” call probably won’t fix the real issues. Worse, it could scratch at scars that are finally healing.

Sometimes, moving on truly means going cold turkey—even if all you want is to hear their voice.

How to Stop Yourself From Calling Your Ex

Here are 7 practical, science-backed, and sanity-saving tricks—none of which require texting the person who broke your heart.

1. Call a Friend Instead

When the urge hits, speed dial your BFF or a trusted pal. Vent, laugh, or talk about anything but your ex. Think of your friends as your “recovery sponsors” — they’ll happily help you ride out the wave.

2. Write Down All the Reasons NOT to Call

Picture the worst-case scenario: voicemail, rejection, or an awkward, pointless chat. Listing these will remind you why picking up the phone won’t do you any good—and help you dodge disappointment.

3. List the Perks of Staying No-Contact

Instead of focusing on your ex, jot down everything you can do now—whether it’s picking up a hobby, reading that book, or finally learning to cook more than instant noodles. Shifting focus = power move!

4. Meditate Your Feelings Away

When memories pop up every five minutes, try meditation. Close your eyes, breathe deep, and picture your “happy place” (pro-tip: leave your ex out of the scene). With practice, old reminders lose their sting.

5. Hang Out With Friends—And Actually Have Fun

It’s not about the new bar or restaurant; it’s about staying present. Immerse yourself in the moment, play games, or try something new. Laughter and distraction go a long way!

6. Delete Their Number and Socials

Yes, you’ve got their number memorized—but give it a few weeks and it’ll start to fade. Unfollow, unfriend, mute, or block—whatever you need to do to steer clear. Taking control of your digital space is empowering and totally symbolic.

7. Fall in Love—with Something New

We said “something,” not “someone.” Throw yourself into a new activity, passion, or volunteer gig. Find a project that lights you up—so your happiness isn’t tied to your past.

Bottom Line: Give Your Future a Chance

Moving on is already hard—don’t make it harder by reopening old wounds. One day, you’ll look back and be so glad you didn’t send that text or make that call. Remember: healing is a proactive process. Give it time, distract wisely, and soon, you’ll be itching to call someone new (who’s actually thrilled to hear from you!).

[Read: The no contact rule—what it is, why it works, and how to use it!]

Yes, it’s tempting to find an excuse to reconnect now. But if you want to truly heal, resist the urge—starting today. Your future self will thank you, big time.