15 Things Men Do on Dates That Women Hate (According to Dating Experts & Real Women)

Looking to make a great impression on your next date? Avoid the classic mistakes that drive women away. Here is a science-backed, expert-verified guide to things men do on dates that women hate—with actionable fixes, examples, and answers to “People Also Ask.”

Why It’s Crucial to Avoid Dating Mistakes

Modern dating demands more than just good looks or a fun personality. Small missteps can instantly ruin your chances—even if there’s chemistry.

• First impressions linger, so bad choices are hard to undo.
• Most women have clear deal-breakers based on past experiences.
• Many turn-offs are easier to avoid than you think—with a little awareness.

Let’s break down the most common things men do on dates that women universally dislike and how to fix them.

1. Failing to Show Leadership or Initiative

Indecision is a huge turn-off. Women dislike when men say, “I don’t care, you choose,” about restaurants or activities. It makes you seem unconfident and disengaged.

Solution:

• Suggest two or three options (“Would you prefer sushi or Italian?”).
• Take initiative with the plan, but be flexible if she has strong preferences.

2. Arriving Late—Or Even Rushing in Last-Minute

Punctuality matters. Showing up late shows disrespect for her time and can sour her mood before the date even starts.

Tip: Leave extra time for traffic or delays so you arrive 5+ minutes early.

3. Excessive Phone Use or Distraction

Constantly checking your phone signals she’s not your priority. It’s one of the strongest predictors that there won’t be a second date.

• Silence or stash your device out of sight.
• Give her your full attention—being present is attractive.

For tips on reading signals that she’s more than just a friend, see Does She Like Me? 32 Subtle Signs.

4. Checking Out Other Women

Glancing, staring, or flirting with other women—including waitstaff—on a date is an instant deal-breaker. It’s disrespectful and signals you aren’t genuinely interested.

5. Displaying Obvious Disappointment About Her Appearance

If she looks different from her online profile or photos, do not show disappointment. It comes off rude and shatters her self-esteem.

Action:

• Treat her with courtesy and respect the effort she made to meet you.
• If it’s a mismatch, be gracious—don’t insult her.

6. Talking Nonstop or Only About Yourself

Conversation is a two-way street. Dominating or bragging about accomplishments makes you seem self-centered.

• Ask questions and really listen to her answers.
• Aim for a 50/50 split in talking.

Get more conversation advice at 5 Expert Tips for Building a Healthy, Lasting Relationship.

7. Insincere or Excessive Compliments

Overdoing compliments—especially if forced or focused on her body—often feels creepy or inauthentic.

Advice: Compliment her style or intelligence, not just her looks. Keep it genuine.

8. Complaining (About the Place, Prices, Exes, or Life in General)

Negative energy is a romantic killer. Griping about the restaurant, menu prices (which signals “cheapness”), or your ex(es) drags the date down.

9. Impatience or Pressure—Texting Too Much Before a Date

Bombarding her with messages can feel overwhelming and desperate. Leave space for mystery.

• Confirm the date the day before.
• Avoid excessive texting unless it’s mutual and builds anticipation.

10. Making Sexual Comments or Getting Physical Too Fast

Physical moves—touching, innuendo, or intense compliments—before you establish comfort feels pushy and disrespectful.

Fix: Wait for clear signs of interest. Respect boundaries at all times.

11. Being Rude to Staff or Publicly Aggressive

Women are highly observant of how you treat others. Rudeness toward waiters or random outbursts are major red flags about your character.

12. Critiquing Her Outfit, Looks, or Choices

Negative feedback (even as a “joke”) about her style, weight, or choices kills attraction fast. Show appreciation, not criticism.

13. Ordering Her Food (Without Asking)

Taking control without consent is outdated and patronizing. Always ask what she would like. Respect her dietary needs or preferences.

Learn more about navigating tricky dating scenarios: Dating a Single Parent: 52 Essential Things to Know.

14. Bringing an Uninvited Friend

Arriving with a buddy shows disinterest and lack of respect for one-on-one connection. This rarely ends well.

15. Dressing Inappropriately or Showing Lack of Effort

Sloppy or underdressed looks communicate that you didn’t care enough to prepare. Put genuine effort into grooming and attire for the occasion.

Bonus: Ignoring Boundaries or Repeatedly Discussing Exes

Talking about ex-partners too much signals emotional baggage. Respecting her comfort level and listening to her boundaries is always attractive.

Quick Table: 15 Dating Mistakes Women Hate Most

FAQs: Common Mistakes Men Make on Dates

1. What’s the biggest turn-off for women on a first date?

The most common deal-breaker is a lack of interest and respect—demonstrated by lateness, distractions, or rude behavior.

2. How can I recover from a dating mistake during the evening?

If you catch yourself making a mistake, own it gracefully (“Sorry, I shouldn’t have checked my phone”). Self-awareness and a quick apology go a long way.

3. How much should I compliment her without coming off as fake?

Stick to 1-2 genuine compliments that focus on her mind, personality, or unique style—not just her physical appearance.

4. Should I ever talk about exes or past relationships on a first date?

Keep it at a bare minimum or skip altogether. The first date should be fun, light, and focused on the present.

5. Is paying for the whole date necessary, or can we split?

It depends on your agreement. Offering to pay is usually appreciated, but be open to splitting if that’s her preference. Communication is key.

Summary and Actionable Takeaways

• Respect her time and choices—be punctual, attentive, and interested.
• Give genuine attention—put away your phone, listen actively, and be present.
• Avoid negativity and pressure—stay upbeat and respect personal boundaries.
• Show leadership without control—suggest, but always include her opinion in decisions.
• Always treat others kindly—she will notice how you treat people around you.

Want to know what women actually love? Don’t miss 50 Cute & Sexy Things Guys Do that Women Love.

Avoid these simple but deadly mistakes, and you’ll not only increase your chances for a great relationship—you’ll also stand out from the crowd for all the right reasons.

Further Reading

• What Women Want in a Man (Psychology Today)
• Healthy Dating Tips (Healthline)
• Moving On from Your Ex? 43 Must-Knows for a Healthy Breakup
• Relationship Slump? 22 Smart Ways to Get Back on Track